Tuesday, January 26, 2010

SWF Seeks Chef for LTR. Must Like Horses

Now that the flood scare is out of the way, back to business! I've given you a brief introduction to Mom, and to Legs. Now it only stands to reason that I introduce you to my other-significant-other. We'll call him Chef because...well, he's a chef.

Here's a pic of Chef in action:

I know he's hot, but back off ladies...he's taken!

I mentioned in a previous post that horse people and non-horse people seldom co-habitate well. There are some exceptions to this rule: Chef and I have been happily married for 7 years and, interestingly enough, although he is an animal lover he is not technically a horse person. Yet here we are.

Recently, Chef got an email from a mutual chef friend of ours who is unfortunately going through a divorce. When Chef broke the news to me, it launched a discussion on just how many of our chef friends are now divorced. Quite a few, I'm sad to say. A surprising number of chefs we know - male and female - find themselves married to people who just don't "get" their lifestyle.

Turns out, chefs are weird too.
Face it, anyone who can carry on a 20 minute monologue on the virtues of demi glaze is pretty tweaked in the noggin.

Lengthy locutions on cuisine aside, here is a brief list of other chef-weirdnesses:
  1. Nine to five is a concept they have heard of, but never lived.
  2. Holidays and weekends just mean they work harder.
  3. A "day off" consists of calling in orders from home.
  4. Mise en place. (If you do not know what that is, it has obviously not taken over your kitchen at home. God forbid you touch or move anything!)
  5. Certain pans are not washed, they are seasoned.
  6. "I'll be home by nine" usually means 11. Or 12. Or whenever the last table finishes their brandy and dessert. Really it means, "I'll be done when I'm done."
Needless to say, it takes a great deal of patience and understanding to be married to a chef.

This whole conversation got me thinking about how many marriages may have failed due to one partner's horsiness. I don't have any statistics to back it up, but I'm afraid the number might be quite high. Really...if you had to choose between your spouse and your horse, what would your decision be?

Could the secret to a successful marriage be not just compatibility, but a compatible level of weirdness?

Which got me thinking further (always a dangerous thing): Perhaps there needs to be a dating site where chefs and horse people connect!

Here are my top five reasons why horse people and chefs make a great match:
  1. Chefs work long, strange hours, and are not likely to comment on a horse person's long, strange hours.
  2. Not being home for dinner much, they hardly expect a meal to be on the table at 7 PM, meaning: one can stay at the barn as late as he or she wants.
  3. Stinky, dirty clothes rarely raise an eyebrow. (Have you ever gotten a whiff of a chef after a 14 hour day? 'Nuff said.)
  4. Weekends = Free Time!!! Go on to that show/event/trail ride...he or she will probably never notice.
  5. Wholesale 20 lb. bags of carrots.
I think I may be on to something here. But what to call it? Horsecheflover.com does not really work at all, for obvious reasons.

I'm open to suggestions here people!



  1. Ahaha! That is so true...I did the cook/chef thing for many, many years before I got my current degree and changed careers.

    I can't even begin to offer a suggestion...every time I try to combine "horse" and "chef" my brain jumps to "French cuisine." And that's just not right.

  2. HAHA!
    Well, I don't have the Chef situation going but I do have the percussionist/horsey combo going- for 20 years now. It seems to work quite well...both of us are artistic..we met in hair originally so.
    Looking for your site soon!

  3. mmm, I love food! LOL! I am a foodie as well as a horse lover too! :)