Thursday, January 28, 2010

Winter Olympics = Very Cool, But Where Are the Horses??

Don't get me wrong. I love the Winter Olympics. Skiing, snowboarding, speed skating, bobsled, figure skating (can't say that I really care for that ice dancing stuff, but to each his own).

Still...the winter version is severely lacking in equine events.

Not that it really matters. Face it, unless you are lucky enough to actually be there or are paying for Super-Ultra-Premium-Cable/Satellite ($89.95/month where we you know how many carrots that would buy??), you will never see a horse at the Summer Games either. OK, maybe you will if you happen to be up at 2 AM. And have ESPN14. But that is a whole other post.

I supposed the lack of equine presence in the Winter Games has a lot to do with the fact that no one has come up with an exiting thing to do with horses that also involves snow and ice. I have racked my brain, and these are the (sorry) best events I could come up with:

Water Trough Ice Toss: Participants are timed clearing water troughs of ice; bonus points awarded for the furthest toss of ice chunks into the woods.

Blanket Race: First person to finish blanketing 6 horses (buckles securely fastened) without losing a finger to frostbite wins.

Frozen Turd Shot Put: Self explanitory

Well House to Barn Bucket Relay: Participants must fill 12 water buckets in the stalls by navigating slippery path between well house and barn.

OK OK... so none of these would get prime time coverage, but are any of them really any worse than Curling?

Two things got me thinking on this track tonight: 1) they are calling for snow here this weekend and 2) I'm watching the Winter X Games Snowmobiling Freestyle event. And I have issues with it.

Before anyone gets all up in arms, I truly admire these snowmobilers. It takes a lot of athleticisim and - well - cajones to do what they do. That's not the issue. My problem is with the fact that they are competing on a course where the jumps themselves have no snow on them whatsoever! Seriously. There is snow all around, and they land on a snowy surface, but they are launching off jumps that are basically man made slick inclines. They could just as easily do this on a course manufactured in Miami.

Could we not hold show jumping in a snowy location, mountains in the background and piles of the white stuff piled around the perimeter, and call it a winter sport too?? Just saying.

I suppose there is always hope for skijoring.

I'm not really sure that this qualifies as an equestrian event. Still, anyone crazy and weird enough to try it is OK in my book.

Until someone comes up with a better idea, I'll just have to wait two years, save up $89.95, and set my DVR to start recording at 2 AM.

Such is the life weirdo.



  1. Skijoring all the way! That or a "Fling the Kid" event where you tie a disk sled to the saddle horn of a pony, put a second participant in the saddle to guide said pony, and see how long the kid can cling to the sled. Or maybe me and my sister where the only ones to do that when we were kids. :P

  2. LOL - it's amazing we all didn't get killed "back in the day" :o)